Christmas passed and suddenly I was hit with a bought of inspiration. Not one but two excellent ideas managed to come out of my rum-soaked brain over the past week. I sat down with the laptop and banged out two good chapters that I’m really happy about. 

   The first is “Zombies Can’t Swim”. In this chapter I explain why you should be living on a boat during the Zombie Apocalypse. It’s hilarious, trust me. 

   The second is called “The Tim Dorsey Chapter”. 

  For those of you who don’t know who Tim Dorsey is, I urge you to pick up and read all of his books featuring Serge Storms. Tim is a New York Times bestselling author and Serge is a loveable serial killer. I asked Tim to contribute a chapter for this book. He told me that contractual obligations prevented him from participating in the project.

  I wanted his input because most of what I see and write about takes place in Florida. No one knows more useless yet interesting trivia about Florida than Serge Storms. Tim would have been perfect, but it was not to be. What you’re left with is the chapter that would have been written by Tim Dorsey, had he said yes.

  When I first thought of contacting him, I wondered what sort of chapter would he write? What would the frenetic mind of a writer who makes you root for a psychopath think when presented with the topic of Poop, Booze, and Bikinis? I then proceed to pretend I’m Tim Dorsey and write a very interesting and fun monologue that could have been from Serge Storms. 

  So yes, progress is being made. I’m feeling good about it as I await the next spurt of creativity. I just sit around drinking beer and watching sunsets and try to think of what to write next. Not a bad job if you can get it.