Tag Archives: nautical

Poop, Booze, and Bikinis (What’s it all about?)

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The Kindle version of Poop, Booze, and Bikinis should be live at Amazon sometime tonight. What is it? I know, strange though somehow catchy title. For you non-boaters, you don’t realize how important poop management is to someone who lives on a boat. It’s a common topic of discussion amongst liveaboards. It’s get it’s own chapter and several more references throughout the book.

I suppose you can tell that this is not a serious piece of literature. It’s something I did for fun, and to hopefully make you laugh.

 

I radically changed my pricing philosophy this time. The first book, Leap of Faith / Quit Your Job and Live on a Boat, debuted at 6.99 for the Kindle version. This forced my friends to overpay. It sells now for 3.99, but was once discounted briefly to .99.

By starting off with the cheapest price possible, my friends and fans can grab the Kindle version cheap before the price goes up.

Paperback will take a bit longer to publish, but it’s in the works. 

 

Synopsis: 

  Ed Robinson’s first book, Leap of Faith / Quit Your Job and Live on a Boat, was an Amazon best seller in multiple categories. Now he’s back with this hilarious look at the nautical lifestyle. From Poop to Booze to Bikinis, he covers the funnier side of the issues encountered by boaters all of types. With chapters like Signs You Live on a Boat, Stupid People on Rental Equipment, and Zombies Can’t Swim, you’ll find plenty of laughs. There’s even a chapter for Tim Dorsey fans.

  If you are a liveaboard, cruiser, weekender, wannabe boater, have boating friends, or are just a fan of Ed Robinson’s wit, you will enjoy this light hearted romp through many maritime topics. 

 

Table of Contents:

       Prelude

  1.  Poop
  2.  Marinas Versus Anchorages
  3.  Booze
  4.  Bikinis
  5.  Marine Critters
  6.  Boats
  7.  Signs You Live On A Boat
  8.  Rum
  9.  Weather
  10.  Nekkid People
  11.   Deflatables
  12.   Tits, Pits, and Ass
  13.   Things I Love (About Living Aboard)
  14.   Things I Hate
  15.   S.P.O.R.E
  16.   True Nautical Terms
  17.   Zombies Can’t Swim
  18.   The Tim Dorsey Chapter
  19.   The Jimmy Buffett Chapter
  20.   Pirates
  21.   The Beerfort Scale
  22.   Stupid Boat Names
  23.   Brass Monkey
  24.   The Stories We Could Tell
  25.   It’s Alive!
  26.   Weird Florida
  27.   Why A Boat?

  Disclaimers and Acknowledgements 

 

It’s a light read that I hope many will enjoy, certainly worth 99 pennies. Look for it tomorrow and this weekend at Amazon.com

Price goes up on Monday. 

 

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Poop, Booze, and Bikinis / Two More Chapters Done

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Four new chapters in a week is excellent progress for the lazy writer. Earlier I composed the Zombies Can’t Swim Chapter and the Tim Dorsey Chapter. Now I’ve added the Jimmy Buffett Chapter and Pirates. 

  I emailed Jimmy Buffett to ask him to write a chapter for this book. He didn’t dignify my request with a response. I’m sure he’s really busy though, so I’ll let him off the hook.

   Jimmy has written several books himself. I particularly enjoyed A Salty Piece Of Land. The reason I thought he could contribute to Poop, Booze, and Bikinis is this; take a slow ride through any crowded anchorage and the majority of the boats will be playing a Jimmy Buffett tune.

  Why Jimmy? Songs like Son of a Son of a Sailor, or A Pirate Looks at Forty, were written for the boater. They weren’t for your average weekend boater either. They were conceived with the real cruiser in mind. 

 

I have long wondered about the fascination with pirates, especially among boaters. Again, take a look at any crowded marina or anchorage. I bet you’ll see some pirate flags.

 

  Why is this so common? Who thinks it’s a good idea to celebrate bloodthirsty killers and thieves? After much rumination on the topic of pirates, I’ve decided that sailors and cruisers see the pirate as some romantic notion of escape. After all, we quit our jobs and live on a boat in order to make our own escape from the stresses of normal society. The pirate may have been a scoundrel, but he was a free man. The pirate may have been demonized throughout history, but also slightly admired. He has broken away from conventional culture.

 

  I trace the origins of this pirate love affair back to 1883, when Robert Louis Stevenson coined the phrase “yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum” in his adventurous tale Treasure Island. Then all those Errol Flynn movies in the thirties made pirates out to be chivalrous and good looking swashbucklers. 

 

  That’s twenty chapters down in the first draft. All are short and to the point on specific nautical topics. I’m trying to keep it fun and funny. It is NOT any sort of technical advice book to be taken seriously. Look for the release of Poop, Booze, and Bikinis sometime in the next few months.

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You can get my first book, Leap of Faith / Quit Your Job And Live On A Boat at Amazon, in paperback or Kindle version.

http://www.amazon.com/Leap-Faith-Quit-Your-Live-ebook/dp/B00F3PE5W6/ref=tmm_kin_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&sr=&qid=